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Feeling down
There are usually a number of factors that can contribute to negative feelings
experienced after an abortion. Awareness of what these factors are can
be the first step to healing. The following questions may assist in
exploring what factors are contributing to your negative feelings...
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How was the decision reached?
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Was anyone in particular influencing you?
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Who was supportive?
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Who was not supportive?
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What was important to you during this time? eg. Support from partner, safety of procedure?
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What were you concerned about most?
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What is the comparison between the important things or concerns and then the real
experience? Were your needs met?
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What was the clinic experience like?
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How comfortable with the decision were you?
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What were your values in relation to abortion before the pregnancy? And now?
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Were there other losses around the same time?
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How do you normally cope with major life events?
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How did you think you would cope?
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What information did / do you have on abortion?
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Have you been through periods before where you have felt down?
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Do you take on other's opinions easily?
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How is your general self-esteem?
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How attached or bonded were you to the pregnancy?
Some of the answers to the above questions can direct you to where your main
concerns or problems are. Then you can start to work out strategies for
coping with the factors you have identified as being most important to
you.
Take particular note of the timing of your feelings and related events. If
the things you are concerned about most were also occurring before the
abortion, you might be displacing a lot of your negative feelings onto
the abortion. If the feelings only developed after the abortion, also
take into account some of the other events that have occurred in your
life since the abortion. An unintended pregnancy and abortion can
sometimes be seen as a wake up call and often provides an opportunity
for realising life changes that are needed or wanted. These changes
could also contribute to your negative feelings, as change often equals
stress!
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