CHILDREN BY CHOICE ASSOCIATION INCORPORATED

Clarify your values

Clarifying or changing your values can be a time consuming process. However, the decision to make around the pregnancy is time limited. This dilemma poses challenges for some people, particularly those who had an abortion but had never thought about their beliefs or had negative beliefs around abortion before the pregnancy. If this is the case for you, you may need more time to process or explore your values in order to deal with the abortion.

Try to think about a range of situations where a woman may consider having an abortion. Make a value judgement on whether you feel any of the situations are justifiable reasons for a woman to consider having an abortion. Do any of these situations that you decided were justifiable fit in with your reasons to have an abortion? How would you feel if another person decided to have an abortion based on your own reasons?

If you have still not clarified your values around abortion, you may need more time. Some literature may be useful to prompt you to think reflectively about the issue. You can refer to our section on Ethical Decision Making or contact Children by Choice if you are interested in reading some literature on the values and ethics of deciding to have an abortion.

If you have decided after some thoughtful reflection that abortion was wrong for you and against your value system, you may need to look at ways of forgiving yourself. Ask yourself whether self blame and guilt is a pattern in your life experiences or is just related to the abortion. If it is a common pattern, you can also try to develop strategies around improving your general self-esteem and confidence.