CHILDREN BY CHOICE ASSOCIATION INCORPORATED

How might a woman feel after an abortion?

There is great diversity in the reactions women have to their abortion. The best way to find out how she is feeling is to ask her and listen supportively to what she says. Some examples of emotions or feelings that she may experience can include:

Positive Feelings

Research indicates that most women feel a sense of relief following an abortion and continue to feel confidence in their decision in the future. This is due to the fact that these women were able to make their own decision to have an abortion and were given support with this decision. There are many other positive feelings associated with the decision to have an abortion. Many women who choose to have an abortion report that the decision has a positive impact on their lives (Children by Choice Assoc Inc, 1995). Some of these outcomes include:

• re-enforcing a sense of control over their own lives,
• bringing them and their partner/parent closer together,
• improving their knowledge and understanding of contraception and fertility,
• discovering that they want children and are looking forward to having children when it's the right time, and
• improving their ability to make important decisions.

Other Feelings

However, it is not unusual for some women to have other feelings as well as the positive feelings. Some women may feel sad following the abortion particularly if they felt attached to the pregnancy. Feeling a little sad after an abortion does not mean that she has made the wrong decision; it may just mean that it was a very hard decision to make. Many women report feeling a little up and down after the abortion due to the hormonal changes involved in going from being pregnant to no longer being pregnant. This should pass in a couple of days. Other feelings she may experience could be:

• anger toward their partner because they carried more of the responsibility for the decision than their partner did, or they may feel angry with themselves for getting pregnant,
• disappointment with the lack of support they received from family, friends or their partner,
• rejected because their partner, friend or parent refused to support them with their decision,
• worried about their health or the effect it has had on their relationship with their partner/parent, and
• loneliness if they had to keep the abortion secret and have been unable to talk about it with anyone.

Guilt

Another reaction that some women have is a sense of guilt following the abortion. Feelings of guilt may arise because a woman feels she has done something her parents, church or society would not agree with. If this is the case, remind her that she gave the decision a great deal of thought and that she made the best decision she could in the circumstances. Women are less likely to feel guilty if they have had the opportunity before the abortion to think carefully about the decision and have had support from someone with their decision.

It may also be important for her to know that many women decide that the abortion is the best option in their circumstances. These women include religious women, mothers, grandmothers, young women, older women, single women, married women, employed women, unemployed women, and women who were opposed to abortion.

Let her know that just because she feels guilty does not mean that she is guilty. Affirm for her that she is a very worthwhile person and that having an abortion does not change that. If she finds her feelings unmanageable she may want to consider counselling. Children by Choice provide post-abortion counselling and referrals to appropriate counsellors within communities in Queensland.