CHILDREN BY CHOICE ASSOCIATION INCORPORATED

When you can not support her

You may feel unable to support her with the decision she has made in relation to her pregnancy, whether it is to continue the pregnancy or to have an abortion. Respect is the foundation of any friendship. If you cannot support her with the decision she has made, you will need to at least respect her decision. This does not mean that you must agree with the decision she makes.

You are entitled to your own viewpoint. It can be extremely difficult when someone you care about makes a serious decision that you disagree with. It will be much better for your friendship if you are able to listen to her and offer her support with her decision despite your own opinions.

If you have moral issues with abortion you need to try and understand that she is making this decision based on her own moral framework: her own beliefs, feelings, thoughts and knowledge. If you are having trouble with this you may need to listen more closely to her in order to understand her decision better. Perhaps you will find that your beliefs about abortion are less important to you than supporting the woman.

Sometimes people find that once they are in the position of actually being pregnant (or having a partner, daughter or friend who is pregnant) that they re-consider and even change some of their beliefs. Perhaps the woman who is pregnant had been previously opposed to abortion and is now considering an abortion, or perhaps she thought she would not be ready to have children and now finds that she cannot go through with having an abortion. This may be quite a shock to you and you may find it difficult to comprehend.

No one can be completely sure how they will feel or react to something until they have experienced it themselves. Remember that although you may have gone through a similar experience yourself you can never experience it entirely from her point of view. Listen to her about how she is feeling about the situation - she may be as surprised as you are about her change in feelings.