CHILDREN BY CHOICE ASSOCIATION INCORPORATED

Showing your support before an abortion

Talk to her about the decision, but let her know that you understand that it is her decision and you are not trying to take the decision from her. If you're her partner you can acknowledge your share of responsibility in causing the pregnancy and say that you're sorry that she is the one having to make the decision and go through the abortion.

Women often want to know how their partner is feeling about the abortion. She may want to be hearing that her partner is concerned for her wellbeing. Sometimes partners don't talk to women about the abortion or how they are feeling as a way of being strong for them. Some women take this as meaning that he doesn't care about her or what she is going through. Try to be open about your feelings while still supporting her with her feelings. To do this, you could inviter her to talk about her feelings, and when she does, just listen. Also, you can offer to help out with practical things such as transport on the day of her procedure and when she goes to her doctor for a post-operative check-up, or assisting to arrange her pre-operative blood tests.

Recognise that most people find medical procedures stressful and that abortions are no different. Expect that she might feel a little anxious about having the abortion or the anaesthetic during the procedure. While some women may find it straightforward, others may feel uncomfortable or scared about the medical procedure and could benefit from support and reassurance.