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Post Abortion Support
Below is a list of things you may
like to try to show your support for your partner, friend, or daughter
after she has had a termination. Do things that feel comfortable for you, and be sure that you
are also receiving support for yourself (possibly from other friends,
family or counsellors).
- Let her know that you care about her and want to be there for her.
- Allow her to talk about the experience as many times as she needs to.
- Acknowledge any negative feelings she is having (e.g.
"I can see you feel sad about this") instead of trying to
brush them aside.
- If you're her parent and are feeling concerned about her
future contraceptive behaviour, bring the subject up carefully. Do not
respond in a judgmental or critical manner, this is not an appropriate
time for a lecture. Responding in this manner will most likely distress
her and will not be assisting her in any way.
- If you're her parent and feel you would like to keep her
away from her boyfriend, consider the fact that women find the support
of a caring male partner extremely helpful during and after an abortion.
Taking a significant support person away from her could cause enormous
distress.
- Listen to how she is feeling and find out what she wants
from you rather than giving lots of advice.
- Do not suggest that you know how she feels, as you
probably don't. If you've had an abortion yourself you may want to tell
her and say a little about how you found the experience. In doing this,
remember that her experience may not be the same as yours, and let her
know that you recognise that.
- Although you probably want her to get on with her life,
don't expect her to ignore the experience and forget all about it. Allow
her to go through any processes that she needs to in order to move on
from this experience.
- If you're her partner and are not doing so already, you
should consider ways in which you can take your share of responsibility
for contraception. By doing this you are showing that you do not want to
take chances with her body or her wellbeing.
- If she is experiencing negative feelings that she finds
unmanageable, encourage her to see a good counsellor. Post-abortion
counselling may help by reminding her that she made the best decision
she could in a difficult situation and that she has done well in making
such a hard decision. Children by Choice provide post-abortion
counselling and referrals to appropriate counsellors.
If you are listening to her in a non-judgmental and caring way and
you're there for her to talk to when she needs to, then the support and
love you provide will be invaluable to her during this experience.
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