Anonymous

The first thing I felt was shame. Not because I thought it was wrong, but because I was worried about what my family and community would think. We don’t really talk about abortion at all, so I had to keep everything to myself. I even told him my choice, he asked if I was keeping the baby. When I said I wanted an abortion, he said something like, ‘Are you sure? Your community is very family focused.’ It felt like he was judging me and telling me I was going against my culture. He gave me a some information about somewhere to go but did not explain the anything really, so I left feeling confused.

At the clinic in the city, the staff were friendly, but sometimes they said things that didn’t feel right. One nurse said, ‘You are strong, your mob always is.’ I know she meant well, but it felt like a stereotype instead of seeing me as an individual. I was also worried about privacy. Even in Brisbane community is close. I kept thinking, what if someone knows my family? What if word gets back home? I could not relax. Money was another barrier. I had to take time off work and use savings to pay for the appointment. The procedure went smoothly, but emotionally it was a lot.

I felt caught between my identity and the health system, and neither really understood what I needed. Afterwards I felt relieved but also alone. I wish there were more services that understood MOB. Somewhere I could talk openly and feel supported without judgement.