Anonymous

It had come out by itself. But I was close to getting my period and the last time I had sex was more than 2 weeks ago, so I wasn’t worried about pregnancy. My period is pretty spot on, but not this time. I’m thinking maybe it’s because of the lost IUD? I’m getting worried so I ordered pregnancy tests just to calm down my mind, still believing a pregnancy was almost impossible. Well, the test came back positive and also explained why I had been feeling off- tender breasts, low energy, night sweats…

This was my second abortion. My first abortion was a complete nightmare (ruptured condom, failed plan B) and landed me in the emergency room. The female doctor was extremely rude and tried to make me reconsider by showing me the pregnancy on the ultrasound, and making a scene because “it’s twins!! Did you know that??” She just overall made me feel like I was less than for even being in her office.

It was right before Christmas, and she told me I wouldn’t be able to get a follow-up ultrasound until the new year. Turns out the medicated abortion was incomplete (I believe I was at 6.5 weeks, extreme nausea) and I had to go to the emergency room with sepsis. It still makes me so angry how I was treated by this doctor. I was at my lowest and really needed help.

But this time it was different. The nurse was empathetic, ask me all the questions about what I was feeling and what I wanted. I didn’t feel shamed or pressured or judged. I wish there wasn’t such difference between health practitioners and I wish there was more we could do about those who make us feel lesser for choosing abortion. I still hold anger and sadness about my first experience, but appreciation about how different it was this second time.