Understanding reproductive coercion and abuse
Reproductive coercion and abuse happens when someone tries to control another person’s reproductive choices. This may involve pressuring them to become pregnant, forcing them to end or continue a pregnancy, or interfering with contraception.
RCA is a form of domestic and family violence. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or relationship status. The behaviour is always about control, not care.
Some people may not recognise that what they are experiencing is coercion or abuse. Listening and gently introducing the idea that what is happening is not their fault can help them start to seek support.
Learn about Recognising Reproductive Coercion and Abuse →
Warning signs and red flags
People experiencing RCA might not openly talk about what is happening, but there are signs to look out for.
Common red flags include:
- Having contraception hidden, damaged, or thrown away
- Being pressured or threatened to become or stay pregnant
- Being threatened with withdrawal of housing, money, or support depending on pregnancy outcomes
- Health or Medicare records being monitored
- Being afraid to discuss contraception or pregnancy decisions
- Limited control over finances, appointments, or access to healthcare
View examples of reproductive coercion and abuse on the Are You in Control?
How to start the conversation safely
If you’re worried about someone, it’s important to ensure their safety first. Choose a private time and place to talk, and be aware that they may not be ready to open up.
Before you start
- Make sure the person is alone and feels safe to talk
- Avoid raising the issue if the person causing harm could find out
- Remember that simply showing care can be enough to start building trust
During the conversation
- Listen more than you speak
- Use open-ended questions like “Do you feel safe in your relationship?” or “Would you like to talk about what’s been happening?”
- Avoid pressuring them to disclose or act before they are ready
- Reassure them that what’s happening is not their fault and that help is available
What to say (and what not to say)
Helpful things to say
- “You’re not alone.”
- “I believe you.”
- “What’s happening to you is not your fault.”
- “You deserve to make your own choices about your body.”
- “Would you like help finding someone to talk to?”
Things to avoid
- Don’t judge or criticise their partner
- Don’t pressure them to leave or report the abuse
- Don’t make promises you cannot keep
- Don’t share their story without their permission
Listening, believing, and offering options are the most powerful ways to support someone safely.
Connecting them with support
If the person is ready, help them reach out for professional support. You can offer to sit with them while they make a call or show them safe online resources.
Recommended services
- 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732): 24/7 counselling and referral for domestic and sexual violence
- Children by Choice (1800 177 725): free, confidential counselling for contraception, pregnancy options, and safety planning
- Find your nearest domestic violence service: 1800respect.org.au/service-support
Encourage them to store these numbers somewhere safe or memorise them if privacy is a concern.
If they are pregnant and unsure what to do, they can also contact Children by Choice for confidential, non-directive counselling.
Get confidential support from Children by Choice →
References
- 1800 RESPECT – Reproductive Coercion and Abuse
https://www.1800respect.org.au/reproductive-abuse - Queensland Government – Domestic and Family Violence Support
https://www.qld.gov.au/community/getting-support-health-social-issue/domestic-family-violence - Children by Choice – Reproductive Coercion and Abuse Hub
https://www.childrenbychoice.org.au/advice-and-support/reproductive-coercion-and-abuse/
